After a rough week 11, Hunter Lyons is back and trying to find his groove.
Upon graduating college in 2012, I was offered a job doing rotations for an energy company that I had interned for in previous summers. Because of the constant moving I spent my first year and a half out of college living in hotels across the country. But my first stop was Philadelphia. So about a week before I was scheduled to start I e-mailed my point of contact and she replied with
“We heard you like to have a good time, so we decided to have you stay at the casino so you can’t drive.”
So for the first four months of my professional career I lived in Room 413 of the Valley Forge Casino. (Something few ever dream of saying.) At first I was thrilled, there were three or four bars a few restaurants and most importantly a country bar with a mechanical bull. It was a great place to meet people, always had something going on and I was even winning a little money. It was also a really great place to hone my skills of pretending to be someone I wasn’t, sometimes I was a market trader, others a software developer, each lie more disgusting than the last. But the longer I stayed there, the more it just started to become routine with the appeal of the casino wearing off. One night in particular I remember planning to go home, go to the gym, get some dinner and get to bed early. Instead I decided to go to the casino, lose a bunch of money, go get dinner and get drunk with the people I had met at the table. After that I was kind of turned off by the casino. From that point on I set very strict rules for myself as far as gambling went. Nothing during the week and a limit on weekends. There was just something about when I would wake up for work on a Tuesday, leaving the hotel to go to work around 6:45 AM and you see the same people at the tables as the night before, kind of rubbed me the wrong way. The party never stopped. What I quickly realized was that, no one goes to the Valley Forge Casino on vacation with their family. They drove from wherever they’re from because they needed to gamble. This was not a trip to Vegas where they’re going to try their luck on the slots before going to Cirque Du Soleil. These are people that scrap whatever they have together, go to the casino and lose it all, because in the end you will always lose. Always.
Gambling addiction is a chemical imbalance; it’s genetic, just like alcohol and drug dependencies are. Coming from someone who saw first-hand their best friend and roommate in college suffer from this, I will tell you it is nasty and it’s something you want nothing to do with that or to see your friends go through. I urge you to reach out for help before you or someone you care about appears to have a problem. But I’m not going to preach. Just know that this gambling thing is supposed to be fun and entertainment and should never be viewed as anything more. It is not your golden ticket, it is not your chance to get out of debt or hit it big, it’s just fun and should be treated as such. Speaking of fun, let’s try that this week after another tough 4-5 showing last week, let’s see if we can right this ship:
Jets @ Bills: According to reports, there is a 100% chance this game gets moved to either Detroit, Pittsburgh or Washington D.C. because of the huge snow storm that hit Buffalo this week and the game will be played on Monday. Don’t take the action. Home games on the road are total wildcards. Pick: Snow out
Bucs @ Bears: Ohh a little intrigue this week with some old faces coming back to Soldier Field. Lovie Smith and Josh McCown making their first trips back to Chicago since they left. I’ve got 30:1 odds that if the Bears win the team carries them off on their shoulders, easy money. Bucs are coming off a nice win against RG3&Out and the Washington professional futbol team last week. That’s not to say that the Bucs are about to get hot but I think the D is strong enough to hold up against the Bears ailing Offense. PICK: Bucs +6
Lions @ Patriots: You ever bet a game and from the moment you press send you know it’s going to be a loss? Yeah, that happened to me last week with both of these teams. I took the Lions because I’m an emotional-gambler who apparently hates money. A number one ranked team in the NFL only giving two points to the Lions at home? The LIONS? I’ve been a fan long enough and I’ve seen this movie too many times. Hot start, first in a struggling NFC North, nothing but blue skies and then boom, it all goes do to Hell. You are what you are in this league and although the D continued to dominate for three quarters last week there are some real problems on the offensive side of the ball. I don’t know if it’s because of the Larry Warford injury or if Golden Tate said something horrible about Stafford’s fiancée but there is trouble for on offense that on paper should be one of the best in the league. As for the Pats, I had multiple family members contact me this week on how you ‘NEVA BET AGENST TAHMY BRAYDEE ANNE THE PATS.’ And I agree. Pats win big in Foxboro. (Note: no one from family is from Southie nor do they sound like that.) Pick: Pats -6.5
Jaguars @ Colts: 14 points is an astronomical amount of points to be giving in an NFL game, especially when the QB on the other side is Blake BortleService. Alright not that last part so much, but I like the direction Jacksonville is heading, which is losing on the road by ten to the Colts. Pick: Jags +14
Browns @ Falcons: Josh Gordon is now back from suspension, the big question is how the offense will react seeing as how up until this point they have relied so heavily on the run. Thoughts and prayers go out to Ben Tate fantasy owners this week as the RB was cut by the team as they continue to run their backs by committee and I hate fantasy football. I think Gordon is going to have a monster day back and with fresh legs will be a force to be reckoned with for the remainder of the season. Pick: Browns +3
Bengals @ Texans: It was nice to finally cash in on all that Ryan Mallet stock I’ve been buying for the last decade. I don’t know whether it was because he spent his first year in college at Michigan or the fact that he’s spent the last three years sitting behind and learning from arguably the best quarterback of all time but I’ve always thought Mallet would be successful in the league and last week was a good start. He didn’t blow anyone away with his number, 20 of 30 for 211 yards, 2 touchdowns and a pick but I think he’ll continue to develop as he gets more full speed reps. Pair that with that with the return of Arian Foster from injury and I like the Texans at home. PICK: Texans -1
Packers @ Vikings: ‘R-E-L-A-X, Relax.’ Is what Aaron Rodgers had to say to the media after their 19-7 loss to Detroit in week 3 to start the year 1-2. Since that quote the Pack are 8-1 including wins of 25 or more four times. After putting up 50 pts in back-to-back weeks Aaron Rodgers and the Packers have solidified themselves as the gold standard of offenses around the league. Pair that with a defense that has buckled down since the Saints blowout three weeks ago and you have my favorite to win not only the NFC North but represent the NFC in this year’s Super Bowl, barring injury. Ten is a lot for a road team regardless of who is on either side so I’d suggest a two-team teaser of Packers and the Over. PICK: Tease (Packers -3.5 & Over 43.5)
Titans @ Eagles: There is no possible way to spin a Tennessee Titans game as anything but miserable. Might I suggest going to your nearest Barry Bagel for a toasted everything bagel with chive cream cheese, tell them Hunter sent you. PICK: Don’t Bother
Cardinals @ Seahawks: This line confused me a bit. Typically the advantage Vegas give a home team is 3 pts. For a team with a more significant home field advantage like New England or KC maybe 3.5. This game has gone back and forth between SEA -6.5 and -7, so that means according to Vegas if the Cardinals played the Seahawks on a neutral field, the Seahawks would be favored by either 3 or 3.5. I understand that Arizona has a backup quarterback starting for them right now but Stanton has played in big games and has proven time and time again that he can cut it in the league. I think Seattle is still having their Super Bowl hangover and the Cards have the ‘Nobody believes in us’ mentality and feel slighted even though they are 9-1. Expect a big play from my favorite rookie WR under 6 feet tall, John ‘Downtown’ Brown (nickname patent pending). PICK: Cardinals +7.5
Redskins @ 49ers: From the sounds of it there is total chaos going on in DC with this team. The only thing worse than their blatantly racist logo and team name is their QB situation. Had you said that 16 months ago I don’t think anyone would’ve believed you. They had their prized QB that they sold the farm for and showed promise early as well as a young back up who was labeled as a solid NFL QB and who some valued as having first round pick value. Fast forward to today the Kirk Cousins experiment blew up in their face and now that Rob Griffin Jr. Jr. is healthy reports are coming out of DC that the coaches don’t think he is putting in enough of the time. Maybe if RGIII spent more time on his playbook or in the film room, instead of getting patents on stupid quotes and doing shitty subway ads the season would be going in a different direction. Until then, 9ers big. PICK: 49ers -7
Rams @ Chargers: If any of you feels the need to bet this game, or any of the above sounded like it might sound familiar, I suggest you click this link: http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/ PICK: Save Yourself The Time
Dolphins @ Broncos: After their second loss in two weeks, something that is almost unheard of from the Peyton Manning-era Broncos, Denver heads south for a matchup against a hot Miami Dolphin team. If it weren’t for another miraculous late 4th quarter drive from Matt Stafford and the Lions two weeks ago the Dolphins would have been on a 5-game win streak. Their run game has been consistent all year with Lamar Miller and Daniel Thomas as well as Ryan Tannehill starting to live up to his lofty expectations and the dual threat from the read option. The public loves the Broncos because they’re a high scoring team with a ton of offensive weapons and Vegas will set their lines accordingly. That provides great value for someone who is not caught up in fantasy football numbers. I love the Dolphins at home. PICK: Dolphins +7.5
Cowboys @ Giants: That is a face that only a mother could love. Take the Cowboys. PICK: Cowboys -3.5
Ravens @ Saints: Every advanced metric and stat in my head tells me that Ravens +3 is the play but the thought of picking Joe Flacco over Drew Brees in the Superdome on Monday Night Football terrifies me. PICK: Saints -3
Back by popular demand after a huge W last week is everyone’s favorite, THE SHAP ATTACK THURSDAY NIGHT LOCK- Fun Fact: Monday marked the one year anniversary of the last time the Oakland Raiders won a game. In that game, a 28-23 victory over the Houston Texans, the Black and Silver needed a last minute goal line stand to stifle the Houston comeback bid. None of that is relevant this week but I think it’s hilarious a team whose mantra is “Just Win, Baby” does everything but. In all honesty, Oakland’s not THAT bad, but the Kansas City’s D is that good. Take the Chiefs to cover the -7.5 and under 43. Money Train is headed to the Yay, all aboard!
Hunter’s Record To Date: 11-10
