After a long-time hiatus to improve his gambling technique, Hunter Lyons is back with your Super Bowl Prop Bet Picks.
The Super Bowl is without question the largest sports betting day of the year with a close second only to the first round of the NCAA Basketball tournament. It’s tough to know for sure as so many people do their gambling off the radar but it is estimated that this Sunday, anywhere from 3-10 Billion dollars will be traded hands over the big game, according to The New York Times. Whether it’s placing a bet at a sports book in Vegas, a local bookie, offshore site or squares at your local super bowl party, it’s hard to find a group where at least one, if not all people have some sort of stake in the game. If you’ve read this column at any point this year you know we usually stick to winners and the over/under, but the Super Bowl provides a special opportunity to bet on any and every part of the game. So if you want insight on the actual game on the field, I suggest you go to the other million outlets covering that this week.
Disclaimer, since the United States continues to plead ignorance to the fact that gambling is happening everywhere around them rather than regulating it, all bets will be in the form of bagel currency. But these are all real available bets in Vegas and surprisingly didn’t make up any of them (minus one of them.)
Over/Under 122 seconds on National Anthem: This is one of my favorite bets in all of sports as well as possibly the most unpatriotic thing you can do. Rather than listening to our countries anthem, paying your respects and reflecting on our great nation, you’re looking over the stopwatch on your phone yelling to your friends, “DID IT START?!? DOES THAT COUNT?!?” Rule of thumb on this one is cold weather you take the under, but Glendale is gonna be primo weather and I expect Idina Menzel (‘Let it Go’ singer) to capitalize on the final moments of her 15 minutes of fame.
PICK: OVER
Heads or Tails: People love this bet for some reason. I personally think it’s just a great way to get free money in your pocket because anyone with a brain knows tails never fails. Don’t feel the need to really explain this one, common sense should kick in.
PICK: TAILS
Will Bill Belichick’s hoodie be gray?
The public is going to hammer the ‘yes’ on this one. I did some research via Google Images and noticed that Belichick consistently wears a gray hoodie. Conventional wisdom tells you to take the yes but I think there is good value here and you can win 250 bagels while only betting 100. Take a chance here on the off chance that BB wears a blue one just to piss off the public.
PICK: NO
First Touchdown: Couple good options on this one with good value. If I had to guess I’d say the Patriots score first so it really just comes down to who scores it. The obvious choices are either LaGarrette Blount or Rob Gronkowski but feel like it’s almost TOO obvious to come true. Couple sleepers in this one are Tommy Brady or Timothy Wright. If the Pats can get it down to the goal line I could see them pulling either a quick QB sneak or a play action pass to Wright. Brady bet 100 bagels to win 3000 and Wright bet 100 bagels to win 2000. Everything bagel/Vanilla Cinnamon obvi.
PICK: BRADY and WRIGHT
Horse Collar Tackle Penalty Called: This pick goes out to the guy at his Super Bowl party that likes bragging about absurd bets that he made going through the game. First of all, don’t be that guy. Second of all, I am probably that guy. And lastly, if you really wanna be that guy, bet on this. Middle of the game, all of the sudden Richard Sherman is called for a horse tackle on Danny Amendola, it is a 15 yard penalty so it is a somewhat significant play but nothing as close to what it means for you. BOOM! You shoot up out of your chair screaming and spilling beer on everyone around you because you “SO CALLED THAT!!” Sure everyone will call you a douche and throw chicken wing bones out you, but that’s because they’re losers and you’re a WINNER.
PICK: YES ON HORSE COLLAR, BET 100 BAGELS TO WIN 700.
Jeff Weintraub Over/Under 200 Expletives: This one really isn’t even fun, just a good way to get a W in your pocket if you’re struggling. Parlay that will at least one instance of Jeff insulting a head coach for a play call, a head coach who just so happens to be one of the most respected men in his field and even played high school football.
PICK: OVER ON EXPLETIVES, BET 100 BAGELS TO WIN 5
What Color Tie Will Al Michaels wear?
Green to accent his eyes. Cash the check.
PICK: GREEN TIE, BET 100 BAGELS TO WIN 450
Which song will Katy Perry begin her halftime set with?
This is one of the few times you can pull a fast one in Vegas because a majority of the bookmakers are middle aged men who don’t know the first thing about Katy Perry. Typical halftime show features two, maybe three songs. First song as your banger, the hot one everyone wants to hear, warm the crowd up and get them on your side. Second song, ANOTHER BANGER, after two songs Katy has the Millions watching around the world eating out of the palm of her hand and could literally sing an Enya song third and no one would care. That’s when she busts out her hopeful next single. Let it loose on the public so everyone is humming the next day at work. With all that said, this song isn’t even in the top 5 KP songs but I feel like she has to start with ‘Roar’, good stadium anthem. But don’t sleep on ‘Firework’ or ‘This Is How We Do’ being the first one because that song is fire.
PICK: ‘ROAR’ BET 100 BAGELS WIN 200, ‘FIREWORK’ or ‘THIS IS HOW WE DO’ BET 100 BAGELS, WIN 800.
How many times will the announcers use any form of the word ‘deflate’ during the broadcast?
Again, nothing you’re going to get rich off of but if money is sitting on the table you take it. The word deflate will be mentioned more than 150 times on Sunday and there are no other options. The dead horse that has been beaten over this ‘scandal’ is of epic proportions. One thing I can almost guarantee that will not be mentioned during the telecast that is not available to bet are the announcers saying the phrase ‘Struck his wife with a closed fist in an elevator’ or ‘whipped his four year old son with a tree branch until he bled.’ Both things that also happened this year to star players.
PICK: OVER FOUR MENTIONS OF THE WORD ‘DEFLATE’, BET 125 BAGELS TO WIN 100.
Seattle vs. New England: The line has shifted all over the map this week, starting with Seattle -.5 and at its highest point of the week getting to New England -2.5. At the moment it’s sitting as a pick em, which if I had to guess will hover around that number until game time. As for a pick, I have gone back and forth on this one the last two weeks. I think that fact that Seattle is going to repeat and the fact that the Pats have lost two Super Bowls in the last 7 years will be a factor. Seattle players have been quoted all week of saying how they’re enjoying this week so much more than last year, as they should, but I think a level of complacency sets in. Whereas the Pats are focused on one thing, the game on Sunday and getting Brady and Belichick #4. I wouldn’t in the least bit be surprised if the game went either way, but for now I think the Patriots added dynamic of a running game will be too much to handle.
PICK: PATRIOTS 27 SEAHAWKS 20, NE COVERS.
